Behold the Bday Bitch!

If we don't get out of this hellhole apartment soon

I'm going to start killing people. I loathe our landlady, our ceiling is collapsing, we pay a fortune in fucking renter's insurance and rent and we live in a goddamned dump. Our combined income is over $100K a year and we still cannot afford ANYTHING in this goddamned area. 2 bedroom one bath houses the size of a tiny studio apartment in Manhattan cost like $500,000. See this article for what we're up against.

We are never going to get out of this shithole and I'm so miserable. Bitch landlady won't let us have any more pets. Bitch landlady also won't fix our fucking ceiling or the kitchen drawers that have been broken since JULY 2000.

I can't deal with this. I would rather stay at work then come home to this dump. I want to go on one of those Alaska cruises and never come back to this dump. I want to move to Michigan to live near Aughra. But psych nursing jobs are hard to find, and Bug's company is located in NYC.

I'm angry and sad and irritated and very glad that I don't have a gun right now.

Inspired by Osbasso (again)

Got me wondering about my "flaws".

The first is that I talk way too damned fast. I have a serious problem shutting up. I also fidget like crazy. Sometimes people think I'm on speed. This tends to irritate people. This also relates to number 2-

which is- I have a really hard time faking being nice to people I can't stand. I can usually pull it off for awhile- I'm a fairly good actress, and am generally pretty easy going, so to annoy the fuck out of me you've got to be pretty bad- but if you get to this point, it's next to impossible for me to even look at you without getting my hackles (metaphorically, people) raised and my blood pressure shooting up.

When you work on a psychiatric ward this can be a problem. 99.96% of my patients I have no problem with. There are a few though that I can't even look at without my skin crawling. One of them (all frequent flyers) is currently on our unit and is constantly at the nursing station calling "Foxglove, Foxglove, Foxglove" in this whiny little tone telling me he needs to have a 1:1 (which is our fancy way of saying conversation) about something. Now, if he hadn't
a. Waited for an attendant to leave the room on another unit and then grabbed a nurse and repeatedly banged her head into a wall because she was getting too close to his sexual issues (gay and in denial)
or
b. Written "I Love Foxglove. I'm a Loser" on his arm in pen and then showed it to me and the rest of the staff and the other 19 patients

I might be more tolerant. But I'm not. He is an attention seeking, whiny little maggot. He is ill, yes, but that's not what makes him annoying. It's his personality of whinging till he gets his way and therefore inspiring ire in all who meet him. We actually fight over who has to chart on him because none of us want to talk to him.

I'm also hugely impatient. I can't get my nails done at the salon because I just can't sit still that long and do nothing. If I'm gonna lay around and do nothing, I'm doing it on my couch where I have a steady supply of cigarettes and the water of the gods near me. Also the dog has to be near me.

I want another dog, and desperately so. There is one I've got my eye on, now that Brownie's been adopted, but if Bug and I do get this dog, my mother and father will go positively apeshit and have threatened to withdraw support in helping us find a house so we can get away from stupid evil landlady. This is the beautiful girl I've got my eye on now. I've been emailing the rescue coordinator, and she said she hopes we adopt her because she knows we'd give her a really good home. And I want to. But our apartment is small. And our landlady is evil. And I'm so miserable about it. Please give advice- she's tiny, she's housebroken, she loves other animals, and she's a mush. And we'd call her Hanne.

As far as bridesmaids dresses go.....

Why do bridesmaid dresses have to be universally unflattering? I'm a size 12 bust, size 8 waist and size 6 hips? What's wrong with these people ? Is this so other people (bridesmaid designers I guess) don't steal their secrets? WTF?

And the fact that I wish dress was this color should say a lot about actual color...

Oh, and they have to take it in a bunch at the waist. I couldn't hold it in and take picture cause have only got the two arms.

But the dress if for a very special girl, who stood by me when I was a depressed and MEAN bitch in high school, when all my other friends fled. Patsy, from Ab Fab as she used to be blonde (she's a redhead now too), is her nickname and we used to get up to all kinds of trouble. My parents LOVED her though, she could've shown up at the door 9 months pregnant, a crack pipe hanging out of her mouth and a needle in her arm and they would've been all "PATSY!" . Working different schedules- she's a teacher (days), my nursing (evenings) and the fact that Rt 17 and Rt 3 are both involved in visiting each other has seriously cut down on our hanging out. But we're working on that. Sort of. Cause we've been saying that for 5 years now. But I"m the Maid Of Honor (I refuse to be matron on principle) and I have to be a good sport. Her dress, incidentally, is stunning. As soon as I can remember the name of the designer, I'll link to it. Anyway, Bug and I are off to to the mall to return the perfume he ordered for me correctly that they shipped incorrectly. He ordered nutmeg & ginger, and they sent "154". I hate it.

I now smell like old lady. Damnit. But my waist is 25 1/2" with the corset!

Make sure to click on title link- it's always fun to gaze upon hideous bridesmaid dresses.

Late Entry for HNT...

I can't sleep.

It's all about the camisole and the red hair this week, folks.



For those of you still living in caves and wondering what this mysterious "HNT" is, ? Go here to find out more!

As always, make sure to stop by Aughra's page because she's my best friend ever and I love her to pieces. Plus she's super smart, hot, funny, and slightly pregnant.

Well I did it. Updated

Brownie got adopted on Christmas Eve. So no new doggie for us. My parents are thrilled, but I"m very disappointed.

I filled out the pre-adoption papers for Brownie, (who'll be renamed Blixa). I can't believe the little guy is still there. I hope he's not an ANGRY DOG. Isaac would love a buddy, and since Isaac has Ceraunophobia and this article suggests that despite our reassurances, he's still going to freak out. But another dog makes him less likely to bug. And I've been wanting Blixa for awhile now....since Mid-November anyway. So today, I'm going to go down and deal with the landlady who makes my blood pressure SHOOT UP REALLY HIGH and essentially beg her to let us get another dog. She won't sign anything (not that you'd be able to read) and she almost never answers the phone (see: deaf and selectively English speaking) -

SO - wish us luck on attaining our new son.

Blixa "Damien" um...Our Last Name, which I'm not listing here.

Plaid Plaid World HNT- And Bra shot got me 65 comments so disprove my No Boobs= < Comments theory, will ya?

It's that time again folks, where I check and see that without the presence of any bra/breast like area in picture, the number of comments will be decreased by something like 74.56%.

This is Part 2 of the I Don't Want To Be Turning 30 So I Will Dress Like I'm 18 Again series. (It ends soon, don't worry). Usually, Aughra helps me with the collage, but this time it was

Bug who photoshopped and took photos.

What's this HNT thing anyway? Go here to find out more!

Happy HNT!

I want to be multi lingual. Instead, I present this post in Alta Vista BabelFish French, with apologies to all actual French speaking readers.

Le Formulaire De la Digitale : Là où le babillage aléatoire est entremêlé avec des pensées intelligentes occasionnelles et réel nourrissez les discussions relatives. Et liens aux emplacements où je perds trop d'heure. Merci chacun de la lecture, j'apprécie chaque commentaire.


And now- Birthday begging. I really, really want these. Bug got them for me for Christmas but then I lost one cause I'm a lame ass. Sigh. Also this signet ring because, in case you forgot, I'm a total geek.

But the best gift anyone could give me would be donating money to rescueadopt.com or your local animal shelter. Trust me, they need the money. The power of puppies and kitties compels you!

Classy

Cause nothing says classy lady like skull earrings

Reasons Being A Nurse Ruins TV and Movies for You

You just know too damned much. For instance, House was just on, and I totally love this show. Ok, I totally love Hugh Laurie, he was fantastic in Sense & Sensibility (my concession to chick flicks pretty much ends w/ Jane Austen) and has the greatest dry sense of humor ever. That sentence looks weird. Anyway, on House this evening, they played an old episode where someone had rabies , and blah blah, one of the other doctors (or "Cottages" as the world's best website calls them) gets rabies and needs to get the treatment. What's the treatment for rabies? All together, everyone: LOTS OF SHOTS IN THE STOMACH. Only it's not. And that bugs me.

Also- in Identity , there's this one teensy little detail that they could have had some PA look up in 5 seconds to frelling fact check but they didn't. Mental illness diagnoses are divided into axes (not the thing you hit people/trees with) I through IV. The major diagnoses, like Major Depressive Disorder or Schizophrenia are Axis I. Axis II is personality disorders and developmental disorders. Axis III is physical illnesses ,Axis IV is psychosocial stressors, and axis IV is a number from 1-100 that rates the patient's highest level of functioning. Anyone with internet access could look this up on google in like "0.13 seconds" (that's how long it took me to find this ) every time they say "he's diagnosed as Axis IV Dissassociative Identity Disorder I cringe and screech and get all irritable which irritates Bug or whomever else in unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity to hear me go on and on and on about it. Mental illness almost never portrayed accurately. They're not all gun wielding, pushing people in front of trains, cat hoarding, baby raping and eating monsters like Law & Order would have you believe. Russell Crowe did a pretty good job in A Beautiful Mind- it's something with the eyes, hard to explain if you're not "in the trade" but...there's just something about the eyes that enables you to just pick people out in a crowd and know who the long time psych patient is.

Other things that bug Mrs. Bug:
IV machines that aren't on,
the sound effect of a ventilator when the patient's not on one
the fact that people stand in the ICU at the bedside of the patient and talk on their cell phone, which even in MY hospital (1st rule of Sweet Valley Psych- We are Not A Real Hospital - followed by "we don't talk about SVP" ) would get you tackled and your cell phone taken away
people who have just had CPR performed on them the day before doing things that require moving around because
a. it only works like, 15% of the time (but you should still learn it and be certified cause you never know if you're gonna be the 85 or the 15)
and
b. you hurt really bad, cause usually your ribs get cracked.

Also- private rooms? ha ha ha. Not so much. When they show nurseries on tv and people are walking in the hall carrying babies (strictly verboten because people STEAL BABIES and they get like, the metal discs that are on leather jackets attached to their umbilical cords. ) People who work in the hospital don't carry the baby. They push the baby in the little clear plastic...um...cradley thing.

So- informal poll (much like the one I conduct at work by asking my patients who are taking Risperdal M-Tab , which is like Styrofoam texture and dissolves in the mouth (so they can't fake take the pills) what they taste like. General consensus is mint. Sometimes "candy" or "altoids". Rarely, "Good".

Ok, informal poll- are there things about your job/career/interests/something you've got some super level of erudition in that when represented in tv or movies, is always all frelled up?

Also- stating that someone's fashion style is "schizophrenic" is insulting. You'd never hear anyone say "Well, she dresses a little liver cancery, you know?" I fucking hate that.

Working weekends makes me grumpy.

So I shall summon my minions! (yeah I'm hanging out at that name/minion/pirate ship/other geekatory items generator site. Again. )

Release the regenerating invisible mechanical shrimp that can interface with electronic devices!
Release the radioactive sneaky mice that spew deadly parasites!

Release the super-strong sneaky bears powered by atomic energy!

Release the giant crazed berserk mice that live to destroy!

Release the super-strong stealthy tigers!

Release the giant hateful teleporting psychic mice!

Release the sneaky demonic leopards!

Release the single-minded genetically-engineered mice!

Release the supersonic sneaky assasin cyborg pandas!

Release the super-intelligent vampire housecats that spew deadly parasites!

Obsessed with New Cell Phone

Because of my ringtones. I have "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly", and when Bug calls or sends me a message, it plays The Magnificent Seven, and when I get messages from my darling Aughra, , I hear the theme from Deadwood of course (ooh here's one now!) play. At work the nurses have finally gotten used to hearing Deadwood and hearing me say, oh, it's my best girl that if I'm not in the immediate area, when I return they tell me "Aughra sent you another text message."

Hee. Hee. I also have Alice in Chains, Mazzy Star, Fred Weasley from Goblet of Fire, the Ramones (I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend), Johnny Cash (Long Black Veil) and just a teensy bit from Phantom wth Gerry, cause he's just so damned pretty. And...I've seen movie a couple of times. (Ok, I own everything of his you can get on DVD and will probably buy a VHS of a guest appearance on a good BBC Mystery! series that also aired on PBS...Cause I get a little obsessive.)

But it's good to have hobbies, right?

Just a little, right Bug?

Just had patient who knows exactly what she's saying tell me 'get bent, you fucking cunt' Lovely people at my job really.

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

updated
patient apologized to me last night and actually had tears running down her face. I feel like a jerk. But she and I are "cool" at least as much as we can be when I want her to take her meds and get better and she doesn't want to....

Have you been good lately?

Nurse Foxglove get's impatient and she's REALLY good at injections...?

Apparently being a nurse now is to make up for my past life?

In a Past Life...

You Were: An Evil Priest. Where You Lived: Romania. How You Died: Consumption.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Check out my Sick Boy's Tattoos!

OK, so Bug always knew that I loved tattoos, and that I always wanted him to have some,(this is cut from an old post that I can't figure out how to link to, so deal with it "Someday, my bug will have full sleeves, or at least quarter sleeves. They don't have to be Asian styled- I like the old Sailor style, similar to mine, and Bug is a big fan of Edward Gorey particulary this lovely couple. Help me convince him! (and send me money!) but it looked like it was never happening. (because none of you sent money!)

But anyways, he went to visit his family in Michigan from Dec. 26th to Dec. 30th- and he came to meet me at work for dinner on the 30th, telling me he wanted to give me my presents, which I had been led to believe were two poison bottles from Bay City, where we got some kick ass ones last time we were both out there. Instead, he gets in the car and says "Do you want to see your presents?" to which I answer, of course, cause I'm a greedy little bitch, and he starts taking off his shirt (insert confused Foxglove expression here, cause it was COLD) and I see his arms, which have these large things on them. HOLY SHIT! YOU GOT SLEEVES! I lost it. Totally thrilled. So thrilled in fact, with how gorgeous they turned out that I called the guy that did them "Little Bill" from Sterling Dragon Tattoos in Midland, MI and gushed about how much I loved them, and because he did them, I now loved him as well. Aren't they gorgeous? There will be better quality pics when they heal and I break out the digi camera instead of the camera phone but I just had to show them off. My boy is hot. Yessirreebob. Oh, and the pink on the lady? Not shading on the tat. It's blood.