It's my Deadwood audition photo for HNT!

So, this week Osbasso is having us do something a little different for HNT, so I'm combining the instructions of my favorite HNT from this year (see below) with my new one, that Aughra tweaked for me last week only to find out that it wouldn't be Christmasy. So here it is- the last new HNT of 2005. Also one of the last ones taken while I'm a twentysomething. Sob. I need lots of comments cause I'm all depressed and bored and lonely and am having an ugly day and at my hair appt. today (you knew that red was fake) the receptionist/trainee declared people of my sign (Aquarius) and birthdate (late January) evil. Which is why I think that this is great. Vinnie Jones cracks me up. Also his website has links to greyhound rescue. And Bug and I watched Eurotrip (yeah it's stupid but it's funny) and he was hysterical. (BTW- it was on HBO on demand for free, so we didn't like, pay to watch it)

The corset? Still love it. Love it even more than when it first arrived. Can't put on by myself though, so Bug helps me which he describes as (I'm on the phone with him in Michigan right now) "it is...hmm...I would describe it as a ritual which I look forward to as a man...and I guess...I don't know where to go from there that isn't really inappropriate." I've been getting up at 8 am so I can shower, chuck on bra and camisole and have Bug lace me in, then return to bed so I can be all corsetted at work. (He leaves at 8:30) I love my corset la la. I can wear it for like 18 hours at a time. Cause I'm tough. Originally I wanted the pic above to have a shotgun too, but I don't have a gun. Cause I'd totally accidentally kill myself. So have a HAPPY HNT AND A GREAT NEW YEAR!

And here's my favorite previous HNT post : (see, Foxglove plays by the rules!) It's my favorite because I love my tattoo and having it located where it is, I don't really get to see it very often. Plus I think the curve there is kinda sexy. But in a tasteful way. Also I got so many great comments about how people loved the tat, so it made me happy. So there it is- the pic and the story.

Now please comment away, I'm pulling the Low Self Esteem Card.


lucky in love 

Because stupid things amuse me

What Your Underwear Says About You

When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble! You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

The Underwear Oracle

Bug visiting parents in Michigan. So so so so so so so so so so so so bored. Aughra away out of cell phone/text messaging/the reason I get up every morning. Animals cracked wth bizarre behavior. Still don't have Brownie, aka Blixa.

Have regressed to watching that bad movie I totally LOVE again.

I know all the words. I'm so ashamed. Apparently the fact that some of the movies and TV shows I like aren't typically "Girl Movies". (that whole sentence has separate links. Yes, I'm that bored and I fell asleep on the couch from 6:00 to 9:30 PM and can't frelling sleep.

Grr.

The List I stole from Kalani- click here to read hers first!!

Put an "X" by all the things you've done and share it with your friends.

1. (x) Smoked a cigarette. Um yeah. Daily.
2. (x) Crashed a friend's car. No but I've drived a chevy citation that stalled out on turns and an old Bitchin' Camaro that stalled out in the middle of the highway, which could have caused crash.
3. ( ) Stolen a car.
4. (x) Been in love.
5. ( X) Been dumped.
6. (x) Shoplifted. Nordstrom's used to have really bad security and you could lift dresses, shirts, etc. I stopped right before I turned 18.
7. (x) Been fired/laid off.
8. ( ) Been in a fist fight. I fight with words. If it's gonna get physical, I"m going to get killed.
9. (x) Snuck out of your parent's house. A lot.
10.(x) Had feelings for someone that didn't have them back. God, who hasn't? Jerry the Lip Ring God- 1994 current.
11. ( ) Been arrested.
12. ( ) Gone on a blind date.
13. (x) Lied to a friend. Usually when bailing out of hanging. I get lots of "headaches" but so does she, so we're even.
14. (x) Skipped school. A lot, a lot, a lot. In college.
15. (x) Seen someone die. Maybe 12 times? All at work, all med/surg and all mercifully elderly people in terrible health with DNR orders who were much better off than in the pain they had daily,
16. (X ) Been to Canada. Montreal when I was 10 months old (and no, Dad, I don't remember it) and Toronto once when I was 18.
17. ( ) Been to Mexico. I did go to London though!
18. (x) Been on a plane. Yes, and it requires Ativan and a stop at the terminal's bar before I get on. I don't like planes!!
19. ( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire.
20. ( X) Eaten sushi. I hate fish when it's cooked, so the raw does not appeal. But I tried a damned tuna roll. Blech.
21. (X ) Been skiing. I suck.
22. (x) Met someone in person from the internet. Aughra, who is my best friend ever, so that went well, with absolutely no serial killing or gassing or making body parts into windchimes.
23. (x) Taken pain-killers.
24. (x) Love someone or miss someone right now.
25. (x) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
26. (x) Made a snow angel.
27. ( ) Had a tea party.
28. (x) Flown a kite.
29. (x) Built a sand castle.
30. (x) Gone puddle jumping. I used to try and save all the worms before they drowned.
31. (x) Played dress up.
32. ( ) Cheated while playing a game.
33. (x) Been lonely. .
34. (x) Fallen asleep at work/school.
35. (x) Used a fake I.D.
36. (x) Watched a sunset.
37. ( ) Felt an earthquake. No, we had one out here years ago but I slept through it. And that's cool with me.
38. (x) Touched a snake. Yep. So soft. Mmmm..
39. (x) Slept beneath the stars. A couple of times.
40. (x) Been tickled. I had a babysitter who used to torture my brothers and I with this. And my feet? Not ticklish. Consider this point of pride.
41. () Been robbed.
42. (x) Been misunderstood. Daily. I work on a pyschiatric ward.
43. (x) Petted a reindeer/goat.
44. (x) Won a contest.
45. (x) Ran a red light. Oops!
46. ( ) Been suspended from school. Ha ha. Nope. I was a good girl.
47. (x) Been in a car accident. A couple. Minor. One was my fault, or How It's Not Good to Drive this car (the one in the back, and it was blue) with bald tires in the rain at a rapid speed around turns. Hee. hee.
48. (x) Had braces. Yes, but I wouldn't wear the retainer after so you can't tell. (that's Kalani's quote but my story is the same- didn't wear retainer, but the horse teeth growing out of my top gum 1 inch above the rest of them do, thank god, remain next to the other teeth. I think my braces even had chains on them.
49. ( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.
50. (x) Had deja vu.
51. ( ) Danced in the moonlight.
52. (x) Liked the way you looked. Sometimes. Rarely. .
53. ( ) Witnessed a crime.
54. (?) Questioned your heart. I don't know.
55. ( ) Been obsessed with post it notes. No but my mom is recovering Post it Addict.
56. (x) Squished barefoot through the mud.
57. (x) Been lost. I feel lost now.
58. (x) Been to the opposite side of the country.
59. (x) Swam in the ocean.
60. (x) Felt like dying.
61. (X ) Cried yourself to sleep.
62. (x) Played cops and robbers.
63. ( ) Recently colored with crayons.
64. ( ) Sung karaoke. I could clear a bar in .02 seconds. I lack any musical ability. NOne.
65. (x) Paid for a meal with only coins. Oh hell yeah. I once bought cigarettes with nickels I borrowed from my friend's 10 year old brother.
66. (x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't. Oops.
67. ( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out your nose.
68. (x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
69. (x) Danced in the rain.
70. (X ) Written a letter to Santa Claus.
71. (x) Been kissed under the mistletoe.
72. (x) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about.
73. (x) Blown bubbles.
74. (x) Made a bonfire on the beach.
75. ( ) Crashed a party.
76. (x) Gone roller-skating.
77. (x) Had a wish come true.
78. (X ) Worn pearls.
79. ( ) Jumped off a bridge.
80. ( ) Ate dog/cat food. Ewwww!
81. ( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them. I tell my mentally retarded patient, a 27 year old girl i love her too when she says she loves me.. she hits really hard, I'd rather she liked me than not...
82. ( ) Kissed a mirror.
83. ( ) Sang in the shower.
84. ( X) Had a dream that you married someone.
85. ( X) Glued your hand to something. I used to play with super glue all the time- the kind you get with fake nails? Fun.
86. ( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flagpole.
87. ( ) Kissed a fish.
88. (x) Sat on a rooftop.
89. (x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
90. (x) Done a one-handed cartwheel.
91. (x) Talked on the phone for more than six hours on one occasion.
92. (x) Stayed up all night. You mean like tonight?
93. ( X) Didn't take a shower for a week. HIgh school. Clinically depressed.
94. (x) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree. And lots of other fruit... the best.
95. ( ) Climbed a tree that had a tree house.
96. ( ) Been told by a complete stranger that you're hot.
97. (X ) Ever had a one night stand.
98. (x) Ever missed someone so much it still hurts to think of them.
99. ( ) Ever loved someone that you knew wouldn't love you back.
100. (x) Ever been to a professional baseball, football, or hockey game in a stadium.
101. (x) Went hiking in the mountains.
102. ( ) Smoked a cigar.
103. (x) Had a crush on someone you worked with but never told them.
104. ( ) Wished you had the chance to change your profession.
105. (X ) Ever cremated and kept the ashes of a pet you cared a lot about.
106. ( ) Wished you could live your life over again beginning at age 21.
107. ( ) Been baptized.
108. (x) Rode a horse.
109. ( ) Sent flowers to someone you never met.

Merry Christmas or Bah Humbug, depending on your view.

I've got to work tomorrow, which kind of sucks. That's pretty Bah Humbugish. But I get to wear jeans with this cute top I ordered back in like early November. Jeans are verboten at Sweet Valley Psych, but I'll let you in on a little secret. On weekends? Depending on who the Mega Queen Nurse of the Psych Ward is? We wear jeans. We being myself, (ok quick run to name generator- this time I'll use the Wild West Name Generator to create aliases for the two fantastic nurses I work with- Stella "Bullet" Stevens, who has been a nurse since 1955 and is less than 5 feet tall yet takes NO SHIT from anyone and is tougher than nails and totally one of my idols, and definitely my Psych Nurse Idol, and Theresa "Hellish Devil" Payne, who is as depraved as I am and who gleefully goes through the charts and Kardex with me, pointing out spelling errors and mocking the stupidity of those that are not us. Theresa is off tomorrow, so it'll be me and Stella, and also "Sunset" Washington, who is the Jamaican nurse I mentioned in an earlier post (earlier like the one RIGHT BEFORE THIS so I'm not linking, kids). And our usual attendants are Tommy Davis "the Thinker", Paul "Saloon" Sanders, and usually two random agency people. My aforementioned night shift buddies, I shall hence rechristen as Karl "Rawhide" Hardy, and my buddy, Jack "Gravedigger" Walters who scares the living hell out the patients by the fact that he's a really, really big guy but is actually very sweet and smart and ridiculously good looking. My night nurse Queen, whom if Aughra ever leaves me, I'll have to devote my life to instead ( please don't go, Aughra "Joanie Stubbs") is henceforth known as Lillie "Tornado" Campbell. I shall have to refer back to this post forever to remember the names I've given them. Oh, and the one other person who's almost as obsessed with ridiculous Harry Potter Swag and who answered my "shut up you stupid Hufflepuff" insult over the phone with "die Mudblood scum" is Dave "Damnation" Smith.

But I got ROCKIN" CHRISTMAS LOOT FROM BUG. Please see: my gorgeous necklace , a lovely claddagh ring which I've always wanted but you can't buy them for yourself 'cause it's bad luck . And some more cute punk rock skirts, the corset, and the ubergift, my amazing, astonishing, awe-inspiring, awesome, exciting, hair-raising, heart-stirring, impressive, magnificent, moving, overwhelming, spine-tingling, stunning, thrilling PHARMACY LEDGER FROM 1896 and 1897. Behold the frelling glory.



How incredibly awesome is this? Hope you all have a Happy Christmas, if that's your holiday, or HappHanukkahah or Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, etc.

And on a totally unrelated note- holy fuck!

All Dressed Up With No Place To Go

My fabulous work outfit. As always totally overdressed for work.

or, the story of my life. I always overdress for work. I could wear scrubs but they come in huge sizes, like 9x and it's really easy to get massively fat wearing them. Plus if I dress up and look nice, I feel less like passing out into a coma. It's harder to keel over when you're wearing the corset of Good Posture and Little Bruises directly distal to the mammaries. Plus the boots I wear tend to keep you from keeling over. They don't keep you from excruciating foot pain, but they look hot. Then I had a pretty burgundy lacey shirt over my corset and a cute little crushed velvet short sleeved jacket. I looked adorable. For 19 psych patients, my 2 co nurses, and 4 attendants. Yeah. Big Life, Foxy.

I got to do meds though, which is nice because I get to listen to my music of choice on my CD player instead of the infernal Christmas music the nurse I work with always wants to hear. One of these days me and her are going to come to blows- our faux fighting will turn real and ugly and quickly. She's from Jamaica and has actually gotten into physical fights before, whereas I've always won with words. In this case, I still think I'd win. I can't run far, but I'm a great sprinter. and when it comes down to it, I'm just meaner. Plus I don't handle stress well, and I'm always a hairs breadth away from totally cracking and going totally apeshit. Only I wouldn't kill strangers, I'd kill patients and doctors and possibly selected co-workers.

But now I'm going to hang out, overly dressed up, with Bug and the guy that introduced us.

View from my favorite place on earth. The couch. Ahh. Movie is Dreamcatchers which is so bad it's good.

And the Most Coordination Ever Possessed By A Single Individual Award Goes to Foxglove. Cracked head getting into car. This is what it looks like AFTER putting ice on it almost immediately. And no, it wasn't icy I'm just a spaz.

Happy Friday! (I got goodies) It's the most picturey blog entry of all time.

What is this, you ask? It's not Thursday anymore (well, it is for ten more minutes) and now she shows skin instead of a little picture of a tentacled monster? (And don't think I didn't notice that absence of breasts=89% fewer comments)

That is because my corset finally came. I can hear my mother exclaiming in relief from here. No, actually this will just further convince her I have a shopping problem and that I need to stop wasting money. But it was a gift from Bug. So there. And besides, it makes my waist teensy! Look! I've been wearing it for about 40 minutes and I am quickly gaining a hell of a lot of respect for the women who wore these things daily. Cause, uh....starting to feel a little uncomfortable. If it was just a little looser it would be cool. Yeah. Where's my fainting couch?

Also- I don't know if you can see my necklace, but it's a small silver pendant with "Vous et nul autre" written in it. It means "You and No Other." And it's from my best girl, who also sent me a fantastic HANDMADE knitting bag and matching big huggy pillow and little sachet scented with this nag champa stuff I want to hate but can't. (She's my incense hook up as well)

and yarn, even though I can barely knit to save my life. Cake or death? Not quite the same as "knitting or death" but you get my point.

So happy "Foxy got Great Xmas Loot" Friday. Oh, and my skirt? Matches my tats.
lucky in love 

Tentacles!!! Agh! Up Early cause i worked 16 hours yesterday and am going to sleep now...

It's me and my little buddy, Cthulu. Cthulu begs the mystery of: Why, in Sci-Fi and Horror like Stuff, is Evil always represented by tentacles? Hellboy? Evil=Tentacles. . Giant Squids are not thought of as "nice guys" A bunch of other things I can't remember because I worked a double last night and have been up for almost 24 hours? Tentacles= Evil.

Not my Cthulu though. He loves me. He really, really, really loves Half Nekkid Thursday and you should too.

If not, tentacles will get you. Oh, and check this out- they finally got a picture of a live giant squid here!

See, at Foxy's blog, you learn important things. Such as, after this long without sleep, I'm duller than usual. Also that I have bright red lipstick. (Mac Viva Glam I) And of course, tentacles represent evil. And if you remember the conversation between Lane and the French Chick from Better Off Dead about Ricky trying to touch her with his "testicles" this might be funny to you. I couldn't find that movie sound. I'm sorry.

I am a sheep.

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alt="Foxy One Xuberantly Giving Lustful Orgasms and Velvety Embraces"
border="0">


Which Mythical Creature Are You?
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Which Magical Element Are You???
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sheep sound courtesy of http://www.grsites.com

So there's this slideshow of 49 musicians who died too early

It was kind of depressing- they've got the all the ones that died at age 27: Janis, , Jim Morrison, Robert Johnson (a blues man), , Hank Williams (sigh) who wrote the beautiful I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry which was covered sublimely by Mr. Johnny Cash (whimper) the very happily for Foxglove, NOT DEAD Nick Cave , and back to the list, my kind of ADD kicking in, sorry, Otis Redding (hey that site plays "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay!" , as well as Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix , oh yeah, Kurt Cobain (which makes me think of the Six Feet Under episode where Nate first gives Claire pot. Anyway- they list other greats, Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper, Richie Valens, (incidentally- La Bamba, the movie? Where that little plane crashes in the beginning and smooshes one of Richie Valens' friends? Totally the instigation of my Foxglove Fears Planes Will Crash and Land ON Her not just that she'll be in one that crashes fear.) Frelling jerks.

But they left off a couple of people which irked me. First of all, one of my big all time crushes, Layne Staley died at 34 and the saddest part of all is that nobody found him for 2 whole weeks. Nobody even noticed he was gone. That made me sad .I used to have a Green Tree Frog that I had named Layne (read the part about habits) who kicked all kinds of tree frog ass. And also Dimebag Darrell formerly of Pantera, who was MURDERED on stage along with 3 fans and the gunman who was taken out (I think by someone else. First person shooter?)

This one makes me sad now particularly, because recently we had a patient at work who liked my outfit (Black Durmstrang T shirt from Harry Potter, studded arm warmers {yeah I'm in total denial over my age, so what? have you seen Mariah Carey lately?} black jeans, and black studded belt.) He told me I was "the coolest nurse he'd ever seen" and we proceeded to have long chat about music, particularly Layne and Dimebag and how sad it was that Layne wasn't found for 2 weeks. About 3 weeks after he was discharged, he committed suicide (after many unsuccessful attempts). I'm just glad that he was content talking to me about music and stuff for one night instead of being besieged with mental illness and drug problem lectures. He was only 33, too. Mental illness sucks.

Now I'm depressed. And like an ass, agreed to work another double tonight, and also to knit like 6 scarves for people. Sometimes I think I need my jaw wired shut.

Since I'll be working all night, any HNT pics will be weak and motorola'd and not nearly as "fancy" as last week. I'll try though.

Have a great day, all.

Oh yeah- others who should've made list: Cliff Burton (Old Metallica), Jeff Buckley, Paul Hester, Dennis Dannell (Social Distortion- brain aneuryism), Ian Curtis, Tracy Pew (one of the Birthday Party with Nick and the boys), Mark Sandman from Morphine and I'm sure you guys can come up with plenty more.

Let me tell you about our slumlord landlady.

We live in a 3 family house. Our downstairs neighbors are fantastic. Our landlady, not so much. The window that is next to where I sit when I'm here at the computer sucks, and actually causes fingers and toes to go numb. (hence more typos). Our kitchen drawers have been broken since we moved in - in July of 2000. The plaster and drywall of the ceiling over the stairs that lead down to our front door are collapsing and only remain intact because we've covered the ceiling with bad art by our schizophrenic friend. So yesterday it snowed. It was my day off, so I was just lounging in my no longer fitting (i.e. have to roll waistband over so they don't actually fall to the ground) size 12 Gap Long and Lean jeans and a sweatshirt, sleeping the day away and dreaming of my future home where I shall live with Gerry when my slumlady calls and tells me I need to move my car. I was up earlier in the day, paying my 25 year old downstairs neighbor $60 to shovel for me even though it says clearly in our lease that she is responsible for snow removal. Ha. If that was the case, last January we'd have starved to death, being unable to get out of house or to car for about a week. So I go to car, getting ready to move it (she has me park at top of driveway when it snows because she doesn't drive in the snow, which is a good thing because in the 5 years that we've lived here, she's trashed 4 cars. The woman does NOT drive well.) So I'm trying to back up while she makes vague waving motions at me and since she's too cheap to pave the driveway and it's a grass and gravel mess now covered with ice bits, the car slid and screeeeeched against the restaining wall. See above. That's gonna cost me at least $600 to fix. So instead I pull out into road, drive around and come back down driveway, hitting nothing. Then she comes over to me, tell me the reason I hit the wall is that I'm driving in high heels (my daily boots)

and starts screaming at me. I stare at her, dumbfounded, because it's my frelling car that just got trashed and as I yelled at her (she's deaf, really, you HAVE to yell to talk to her and then she pulls her "selective english speaking ability" thing when you say something she doesn't want to hear) that "why do you care? It's not like you're going to pay for it! Just like you didn't pay for our new air conditioner when it broke, or fix our ceiling, or get us new windows like you got downstairs neighbors!" Then I marched off in my "high heels" . So she calls my mother. Apparently I have somehow been transported back in time to high school where the teachers can call my parents and tell them "I'm being rude." So I had to then listen to my mother screech at me at how I have to be nicer to her and blah blah blah. One of these days I'm going to accidentally back over her. Grr. Edited to add that the person I would back over is slumlady, not my mother. Duh.

Day off day off day off day off

So I can just lounge all day in my super sexy Oscar the grouch thermal pants. I plan to leave the house for sole purchase of buying a digital camera (that works) and buying more 7-Up and ginger ale, which as you all know, are the only things I ingest besides pills for my stomach pain. Isaac is here, curled up behind me. I need the camera so me and Aughra can have our matching shots up for Half Nekkid Thursday tomorrow...We may be taking requests, we may not be. . Submit if you like.....

Tonight, something really scary almost happened.

I almost purchased a pair of skin tight purple corduroy pants. (Click on "purple velvet" to get the full glory. How did I let it get so far? Past the rack where I picked them up in the first place all the way to end of the long queue of pissed off holiday shoppers wielding their 15% off coupons like mini weapons , growling at those who shift from foot to foot in a way that too closely resembles consideration of place jumping? It's cause I tried them on in a size 6, which is way smaller than I was wearing just a few short months ago. Once I almost bought a tube dress in yellow with orange hydrangeas covering it because it fit me and was a size 4. These purple pants that look like something that peeled off of Barney in the shower made my ass look fantastic. Like legendary fantastic looking. But as I stood there in the line while the women in front of me yelled at their husbands on their cell phones in Tagalog, I realized "these are really purple. Like, as purple as purple gets. Am I really the girl who wears skin tight purple pants? Do I want to be that girl?"

The answer is no.

I like purple. I've got a great frelling purple suede bag and a corduroy one that I got 2 years ago for Neiman Marcus's beauty event, which is where you crack out and spend $85 on cosmetics or other beauty items (if you're wondering what I want now it's this in nutmeg and ginger, which smells way better than it sounds, and as always, the best candle ever which, yes, I have actually spent $52 on, you get this FREE BAG filled with deluxe samples of more ridiculously priced beauty things. The compulsion to buy this shite is a rare one, fortunately, but is one that I share with Aughra and apparently, her hairdresser whose name I believe to be Erica.

But I do like purple. It's sort of crept on me slowly, an insidious shimmering eye shadow here, some dark nail polish there, a lipstick that really can be called nothing but purple, a few tank tops, even one actual top. Or jumper, if you're from the UK and think top automatically makes you think of people's preferences in bed. I guess jumper kind of does too. Anyway, people have asked me repeatedly over the past 5 months or so "is purple your favorite color?" so I think I've been using too much. I"m going to go back to my basics of black, grey and brown. Maybe some pink now and again, but I think I'm a little too color soaked...

Just so you know...