Mmmm demerol.

Demerol 75mg and Versed 4mg or something for the upper endoscopy. Whole thing kind of a blur. I remember saying ouch when the huge scope thingie was in my throat and gagging a lot. I also remember that they started with 25 of Demerol but my continuous yapping got me upped to 50 and then 75mg. Mmm. I feel fuzzy.

Your mission- convince Bug that Foxglove will literally wither away and die unless Brownie, who would promptly be rechristened as Blixa and become Isaac's baby brother is adopted by us post-haste. Mom and Dad do not bother to comment on the "we don't have room for another dog" thing. Cause I'm not intersted. Blixa homeless and unloved. We have home and love. Sounds like obvious connection to me.........

And before any of you even THINK of BUYING a puppy or kitten from a pet store go here first. Now I shall stagger druggedly from my soapbox to the couch where Bug and I are about to watch Once Upon A Time In The West.

and remember people- pressure Bug into letting me adopt Brownie/Blixa for Isaac...

So we've proven that I can be a total idiot, right?

I just confirmed it. I just agreed to work 3 extra shifts. And the best part? They're ALL weekends. So I worked this evening- 3 to 11:30. Same tomorrow, same Monday. Tuesday I get to go to the Lady Doctor with the evil duckbill and Wednesday I get to go for an exciting gut test . Then hopefully we'll drive up to the Honda dealership and fix my frelling stereo, cause when the battery died last week and I had to spend $569.51 to get new battery, new brakes, and new front tires along w/oil change, my stereo locked. Honda has this theft deterrant thing where you have to enter a code to get the stereo to work. I don't know where the socks I wore yesterday are- what are the chances of me finding this itsy bitsy little card with 5 numbers on it from 5 years ago? Not so hot.

But then Thursday and Friday are regular working days. 3-11:30. Then Saturday? 11-7 am. Then regular work week. Then regular weekend of work. Then regular week work. (assault, terroristic threats,getting spit at, etc, but at least being best dressed for miles) and then again, on my weekend OFF I will be working both Saturday and Sunday from 11-7 am. Why? Cause I'm an idiot.

And we have a new nurse manager. She's fantastic. So. please, I'll need your comments. Tell me nice things. Tell me I"m gonna win the lottery. Tell me Gerry's busy looking for me and that he'll take me away to some wonderful, beautiful place to live.

But a bigger version. Incidentally, my geekiness is increasing at an alarming rate. I'm wearing a Durmstrang t shirt, Slytherin track jacket, and have a Durmstrang messenger bag. And I want the Slytherin signet house ring. Please send help.

I still can't believe that a post with a picture of HELP ME JESUS written in feces garnered only 5 comments?

What more do you people need?

history?

Other tales of coprophilia?

Man, you guys are hard to please......

I need some suggestions...

I have a good friend from my job who likes this show "Tribe" , it's filmed in New Zealand, and I want to get her a gift for her birthday which is next Saturday and a combo Xmas gift. all I can find is this . Surely one of you knows SOMEONE who knows where I can find her some tribe related goodies. As for Aughra, don't worry- her gifts are all picked out and ready to be shipped. Would never neglect my girl.

Please send suggestions!!

Closed for Renovations.

Not like there's anything you all need to read here, anyway. Back...later.

Conversations with Aughra: Mom & Dad- skip this one.

Okay, I'm good at that.

Origin of photo?
Text messages beginning with me bitching about my friend who was supposed to give me my $100 worth of Party LIte Candles I bought like the 2nd day of October at this thing she BEGGED me to come to and keeps promising to come by and drop them off and hang out but once again blew me off. Aughra than asks me "where could you find the room in the apartment to stand and put more candles?"

So I wrote back "fuck you"

And then she writes "you wouldn't have the stamina"

So I say, "just suck me off then" at which point the above photo with caption of "Ok I'm good at that" comes flying through the air/internet/flying piglets with wires and arrives at my phone.

Like we all know, Fodge is a lucky man. Who totally and doesn't even remotely appreciate the goddess that she is. Go remind her. Now.

Another of my dream team of attendants.

Patients unruly. Have no respect for Foxglove, because when she tells them to cut the crap (in other words because our heroine can't swear!!!) they do not listen. When she tells the attendants she wants them in 'time out' or 'open seclusion' they don't listen. (Some of them do, but I don't work with them often enough.) So- the answer? Creepy French guy with one arm (well, for the first 95% of movie) who has a trained pet that would disembowel those who displeased me. Apparently the nickname they're considering for me (they being co-workers) is Morticia. I love being a modern woman. I want this, only with one of those cool dagger things that come out of the end like Townsend has in that movie. You know which one. The bad one. But where's he so pretty.

Foxglove's Addiction

Behold small portion of the formulary. Great detail in these photos, non? I want all of them. Currently bidding on 2 at EBay. Number one on wishlist? Laudanum. If you see any ol' poison bottles by you, e-mail me & I'll send you money to get em..

Legs. Gams. Stems. But most of all, kick-ass boots.

Legs. Traditional fishnets w/3 & 1/2" heeled knee high lace-up boots. Believe it or not, I was aiming for "classy" not "trashy" pic, but think what you will......

Bad news on the digi camera front, folks. Located in it's entirety- charger and all- but the bastard's broken. So HNT photos will have to be poor motorola quality. Not that there's anything anyone needs to see in high def anyway, in any of these photos. What's this HNT thing anyway? Go read about it and make sure to visit all the other HNTers out there. They work hard for the money, honey.

Yeah, it's a bit early, but I'm going to bed. Enjoy HNT,all!

I got to see the New Harry Potter movie tonight. Updated with New Snapey Goodness!

My brother's best friend works at the WB's website, designing all the games and promotional online shite for the movie so he got us passes to see it.

This is all I will tell you. Some of it is vaguely spoilery but in a "stuff that's missing" kind of way.
No house elves.
Tons more Gred and Forge than ever before, a wise move on the director's part. Couldn't find any good drawings or photos of them right now.
Cedric Diggory? Kinda hot. Scroll down.
Viktor Krum? Also kinda hot.
Barely any Rita Skeeter and no mention of her "special talent"
Draco still portrayed as too much of a pussy to pull of any acts of nastiness forthcoming in books 5 and 6, and presumably 7.
Not enough Snape. though he does have a little more fun this time around.(He works as a lab assistant to Voldemort in the 70's and accidentally invents some kind of magical super meth. No Percy, no Mrs. Weasley, no Bill (probably couldn't find hot enough redhead) no Charlie, and I think Mr. Weasley putting on a few pounds. BTW, that picture of Bill is from artdungeon.net and the artist is phenomenal.

Ron Weasley was funny as hell and actually gets to say "piss off" which I thought was adorable. And I totally wish Hermione was my daughter.

Quidditch Cup awesome. Death Eaters good and scary. My brother, who hasn't read the books, recognized Jason Isaacs as Lucius right away, saying "that guy plays the best fucking villains. Did you see him in the Patriot? Excellent. No Narcissa. Dark Mark looks scary though without house elf side story they have to make up some twaddle as to who cast Mosmorde....The Dark Mark tattoo? I wouldn't mind getting one. They're kind of cute. In a totally scary He Who Must Not Be Named Kind of way, of course

And I still miss Richard Harris as Dumbledore. I think Gambon's doing a bang-up job, but to me anyway, Harris was Dumbledore.

Please Kill Me. But first note cute coat sleeve. Then send all your poisons to Foxglove's Formulary. Thanks.

Aughra keeps reminding me they call it "work" for a reason.

So. I'm Charge Nurse , tonight. That is supposed to mean that my word is law.

However, that got tossed to dust about 45 minutes in after I was called "stupid kike bitch, I'm going to break your fucking neck!" by a 6 foot 3 310 lb graduate of our sociopath in training camp (the children's unit) and then after trying to break up yet another fight, was told "fuck off, you stupid slag." Now, honestly I was slightly impressed by the use of the word "slag" but when the RDMF wouldn't then back off and go sit in time out like I told him too and nobody backed me up...Let's just say it got worse and worse.

We had 3 fist fights, I had to fill out 3 incident reports, put 3 people into seclusion, fill out an extra 12 lbs of paperwork, and do it without the support of my fellow nurses who are usually good at supporting me. Basically I got $12 extra dollars to get bitched at all next week by my boss for all the hell that broke loose tonight. I am never doing charge again. Fuck them. Our patients get away with bloody murder and nobody ever gives them ANY repercussions. Calling me a bitch and swinging at me? Apparently not a problem. Fist fight? No problem. No wonder they don't get any better.

So bitter now. So, so bitter.

Grr

Charge nurse. That means people ( attendants and other RNs ) supposed to listen to me. So when I say to throw someone who is causing a huge fucking scene into seclusion, I mean it.

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Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

So....Premiere magazine lists top 50 movie stars. Foxy critiques. Ha!

I like and agree wholeheartedly with this one. See here for further proof. #3 on the list caused projectile vomiting that Bug's gonna be so pissed about.

There's my favorite comic character's favorite, listed here too. A man who knew how to work a sword, surely.....Errol Flynn, that is, not that the 'Crawler ain't talented too.

And of course, any time there's a photo of Steve McQueen shown, I have to link, cause it looks like my boy. (The Magnificent Seven especially)

Johnny Depp made the list, so did Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman. And of course horse mouthed Julia. But where is Gary? Where is Mads? Where is David (Thewlis)? Gerry, granted, is kind of just getting started (click lower left) in films of..well, good, and he's got time yet but the others? Of course the list had some great names but.....it reminded me of how in 1988 SPIN had this great silhouette shot of Nick Cave on the cover (lost the original- need to beg friend I haven't talked to in awhile for it) with a eulogy for Roy Orbison. Now it's like "White stripes Monthly" or "The Killers Cover Part 89.76" or insert other band I'm too old and bored to be bothered with.

I am a cranky bitch, yes. But I am their Queen.

HNT ankle goodness!

This is the ankle scar. See entries from January thru May for details. Ankle puffy tonight cause cannot help but wear those 4" heeled boots.

For those of you new to FF, I ripped a ligament in my ankle last January doing a very complex physical maneuver known as walking. At the time I was wearing my special nursing shoes that cost a bloody fortune (for the ugly of them, anyway) and still managed to end up on disability for 6 months. So, here's the scar. It gets redder sometimes, like right after a bath. Unlike the brave, there shall not be any pics of me posted post bath/shower unless I'm at least 85% covered. Shy, ya know?

Learn more about HNT here. . And find links to braver and hotter chicks who post sexy pics instead of something that could only turn on a podiatrist. Grr.

Ladies and gentlemen- I present to you a classic from mid 90s. Depressed Foxglove. 3+ months gut pain and MYSTERIOUS weight loss have offve off

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Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

next winner of the turner prize

feces

"A patient shit in a paper bag and wrote HELP ME JESUS on door to staff lounge. In shit." He used his fingers to write. The bag was for extra, I guess.

This was what Foxglove texted me (aughra) a few minutes ago. I am posting this as a placeholder until she gets home and edits this.

Why would this person write it on the staff lounge door? Does Jesus hang out in the staff lounge? No. Jesus hangs out in the office where the secretary brought me in tonight and told me that if I took Jesus into my heart that my stomach problems would all go away. We don't let patients with bags of shit get that close to the nurses' station.

They don't pay you enough, Fox... No. They really, really, really don't. This wasn't even close to the worst thing that happened tonight. Thanks, Aughra, for posting this for me. I really appreciate it, as does the World Of Art.

Patient shit in paper bag but stopped to write HELP ME JESUS! in feces before taking bag to his room and ripping it up getting even more smore s

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Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

Bring out your Dead! (I'm not dead yet...)

Me and Fang.

Greetings, strangers. Happy HNT! and thanks to any of you who've managed to stumble back here after so long.

Why doesn't Foxglove blog? Foxglove began her new job in July at a pleasantly zaftig 175 lbs. (and yeah, she's short). By the second of August, she weighed 155. Now she weighs 143-146 depending on scale and weight of boots. But this is not a post to tell you about my amazing weight loss- it's cause I've got some mysterious GI ailment that has turned my already tiny bathroom into a miniature library with a gross of Cottonelle. Sharp abdominal pain daily, frequent flux, and lots of crying. Have had cat scan with contrast and colonoscopy (aren't you glad I'm back and you can read all this??) with results of: some sort of inflammation visible on CT and during scope and "hyperplastic polyps which are very unusual in someone of your age...". GI doc called back Monday, got no answers because man is slightly senile, as evidenced by his remark when I mentioned the CONSTANT FRELLING PAIN that "well, the Demerol didn't work". Um...huh? I did have demerol after my ankle surgery- like directly after while in recovery room, but that's really it. When I asked him what next step was then (after dropping off stool samples which is so much more humiliating when it's yours and not your dog's, wow) he said "Let's do a cat scan." Which I had before I saw him last Monday. Next appt. in 45 minutes, which I'm being escorted to by my mum, who will not let the bastard leave the room till she's satisfied with answers. Never ever fuck with an antiques dealer. That comes from this which is awful but has lovely Gerry and that particular line is said by Jonny Lee Miller . Point? Don't fuck with my mom.

Have missed tons of work, none of which I get paid for since I ain't got me no sick time earned yet, and have thus become slightly less beloved by my nurse manager. Which used to bother me but no longer does.

The patients have especially benefited from my constant pain and anxiety (imagine having to run and unlock 3 sets of doors to get to a toilet when you've got the runs. ) in particular, the ones who act out and refuse meds. I've been giving IM Haldol and Cogentin and Ativan like it's Christmas. Christmas where, I'm not sure. Aughra keeps me sane, her and the Bug. And of course, Fang up there in the picture. We call him Isaac though.

Oh, and Bug and I were married 4 years ago today... as soon as I can find a wedding pic to email Aughra, I'll ask her to post it for me.

Thanks to those of you who have inquired as to my whereabouts- it makes me feel better. Just haven't had much to say that wasn't out and out whining. Which there is none of in this post, of course.

merci tout, vous les marionnettes folles.