it's okay, crazies

deadly

These meds are good for you.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday.

Quick note:

One of the attendants I work with on occasion, a lovely gentleman we'll call um..Sony. Yeah, Sony...anyway, Sony comes up to me the other day as I'm getting the 4 o' clock meds ready.

"You know what, Fox? There's stories about you all over the hospital."

Dumbfounded look. Stories? That can't be good. Reminds me of high school and obnoxious rumors having to do with being large busted and that correlary high school boys believe, where bigger boobs = easier girl.

"What?" I shriek, in an attempt to stay calm.

"No, it's good. All the guys wanna come work on this floor when you're Charge or doing meds cause you're cool and you don't put up with any shit. You're like, legendary." He assures me this is a good thing.

Heh. So apparently my sweet demeanor has fooled no one. Instead, I'm just that clearly evil. But oddly, this doesn't bother me. I'm kind of flattered.

Now I'm off to "not put up with any shit."

Will try to pull something together for HNT tomorrow...

The Idiot Story

From HNT below..

The Idiot: By Foxglove, RN Extraordinaire.

The idiot was admitted to the floor 24 days ago, diagnosed with the current catchphrase of not real diagnosis- pyschotic disorder NOS. Ok, it is a real diagnosis and sadly predicts a lot of future schizophrenics and schizoaffectives, but sometimes it's people who lose their shit once or twice and then manage to function ok without any more severe breaks.

But we're talking about the idiot here. Within about 40 minutes, the staff on my floor had changed his diagnosis to "Irritating Annoying Little Bitch Idiot NOS". It was noted he has some "Axis II" traits, which for us only means one thing- BORDERLINE. And the borderines we get aren't the ones who are out and about functioning and living their lives and trying really hard to overcome something there's really no good cure for. We like them. We think they rock. But the ones we get? Not so much with the rocking.

The Idiot, as I will refer to him instead of what I called him which was his last name spat out in the most contemptuous manner I could muster, has this annoying habit of infesting the nursing station. The lay out of the floor is like a giant Y-

Let's look at the Y

SECLUSION RNS SECLUSION

MED
Um now in front of all this is big U shaped desk. The idiot is always around the entire station.
Ok, first off, my drawing with letters skills are pretty rough as you can see. The U shape there represents the nursing station- a big desk behind which are us, the nurses, and the Attendants and Specialists. Med- that's where I am when I'm not in the RNs room= behind MED is a locked door where the meds are. I get them out for everyone at 1600, 2000 and 2200 and whenever anyone wants a PRN. The seclusion rooms on either side of the station are big empty rooms- one has a bed w/restraints in a closet ready to be put on, the other room is just a mattress. The Y is really a Y because there is a long corridor coming off the Y- the crux of the Y is the nursing station, the little Y bars represent hallways w/ patient rooms and kitchen and patient rooms and occupational therapy room There are more bedrooms down the long part of the Y and a tv room and music room on either side. (pretend it's interpretive dance)

The Idiot doesn't go to these other places, oh no. The idiot stands at the desk despite my repeated redirection to "Get away from the nursing station and go to your room or the tv room or the music room. Get. Away. From. The. Desk. NOW." This will work for approx. 59 seconds at which point he will come skipping (really ) back out and ask me the same question he's been asking me since I stepped onto the floor at 2:57 pm. Prior to that, he'd been asking all the day RNs the same question, and the social workers, and the other workers on the floor. He's been given the answer. Repeatedly. He's written it down. I know, because I made him do it in front of me.

So it's Wednesday night, and it's almost time to leave and he's winding up again, with the same "but was I good today? Do I get a good report?" To which I reply "I myself have told you 5 dozen times today to get away from the nursing station. You don't listen. The other nurses have told you. The attendants have told you. Are you going to step away or am I going to have to have you moved?"

"But Nurse (yes, he calls me Nurse, most of them do) I'm constipated. I want more Milk of Mag."
"I gave you that 45 minutes ago. When did you last go?"
"This morning."
"You went this morning, and now you're hassling me for laxatives? YOU'RE NOT CONSTIPATED. No more Milk of Mag. You have 5 seconds to get away from the nursing station. I'm not kidding." (shoot looks to the boys so they know Foxy's tired of playing nice. They get big grins. The idiot walks away. And then walks back. "THAT'S IT. INTO SECLUSION NOW. I'M TIRED OF PLAYING THIS GAME! Listen up and listen well- when we- (pointing to myself and my co-worker whom I worship as Ultima Psych Nurse) tell you to do something, you do it. You don't go around trying to split staff and stalling. You do what we say when we say. Now are you going to walk into seclusion or do you need to be carried in?

Ativan 1mg PRN stat. Oooh. Barely touches him. He needs Ativan 2mg., Haldol 5 and Cogentin 1. But I'm not the ordering doctor.

He's in the seclusion room. Be quiet, the boys tell him, and you'll be out in 15 minutes. Keep it up and we're locking the door and it's gonna be a lot longer than 15 minutes.

I go to the door, to give him one last chance. "Tell me you're going to cut the crap? You're going to do what we ask you when we ask you, aren't you?" Trying for best possible DoNotMessWithMECauseI'mTiredAndMyHairisMessyFromMePullingAtItInFrustrationofYourIdiocy face. He blinks up at me.

"AM I getting the laxative now?"

Door closed. Door locked. Report written, report given. As we leave, we remind the night staff that he's in there.

"Please tell the day shift to make sure he's gone by tomorrow evening, else I may have to jump on his head till his brain comes out his ears." Is what I want to call out behind me as I saunter out in my cute boots. Instead I say "Good night. GOod luck. DOn't let him out unless you want to. "

See below for HNT! What, you may ask, is it? Me in med room hiding so I don't go kill this pain in the ass patient. Updating blog from phoom pho

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Insomnia sucks. I hate being awake now!

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Someday I will figure out how to go to work and then literally sit on my ass, not getting up for anything not even to answer the telephoneephone

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Good news on digi camera front!

We found the charger!

Of course I can't think of anything to take photos of and even if I do, I'll have to e-mail them to Aughra for her to post em for me. The only way I can put pics up is with camera phone of bad photo quality.

Am Queen Nurse of the Floor tonight, so I get to tell everyone what to do. It's a lot of extra hassle for a grand total of get ready- $15.20. Yes, that's the amount my check will differ from me not doing charge. Whatever.

Harvest Moon so far has had no ill effect on my patients. Just in case, I am bringing videos for them. Clash of the Titans, Flash Gordon, Real Genius, Dracula, Bug's Life, and The Nightmare Before Christmas.

I just hope they don't get jam all over it.

Full moon and work same evening. Result? Not nearly as horrific as I'd feared. So another not even close to psychological or remotely sciey scie

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Meet Xavier.

This is what happens when toy poodles are overbred.

I feel so bad for wishing they would do it more so I could have one. He is awesome. He has a bald strip on his head all the way to the end of his tail. He is beyond adorable. Him and Isaac look like cousins.

Book People Everyone Loves

OK my rough anthropological study is kind of weak. Not too huge a turn out, I'm afraid. But here's what we've got:


newly added

Clara* said "i'm in love with Alexander Solarin from Katherine Neville's The Eight ( go read it right now). Also i love Kevin From Guy Gavriel Kay's Fionavar Tapestry. Ah, there are so many"

Our beloved Pink Kitty wrote in with "Perhaps I'll be trite and go with
- Lizzie from P&P (Austenophile here)
- Fred and George Weasley (self explanitory)
- Frances, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
- Achilles, the Illiad (I feel like a completel nerd because I liked this epic a lot)
- Nick Twisp, Youth in Revolt & Revolting Youth
Thanks, Pink Kitty!

Natalie lamented my dental problems and left these as (some of) her favorites: Idgie from Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, Granpa in the Education of Little Tree, Vivi & Caro from Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.. all the Weasleys (except Percy).. and Ramona.

Lecram Sinum's favorite is: MOONFACE - from the "Faraway Tree" trilogy written by Enid Blyton. (he adds) OK, OK, it's a childrens' book (and pretty obscure in the US) but I still love those stories.

The Impeccable Aughra likes :
Princess Leigh-Cheri - Still Life With Woodpecker.
Owen Meany - A Prayer for Owen Meany.
Offred- The Handmaid's Tale.
Scout - To Kill A Mockingbird.

Kalani responded with :
Asher Lev from MY NAME IS ASHER LEV by Chaim Potok
Motorcycle Boy from RUMBLE FISH by S.E. Hinton

Sam says her favorite is Pie 'oh' Pah from Imajica.

Hypnokitten likes these characters :
Thomas Covenant from White Gold Weilder, JP Beaumont from JA Jance's Series (inculding Fat Tuesday), Dirk Pitt from Raise the Titanic (and many, many others, and Atticus from To Kill a Mockingbird. Hypnokitten is cool and her name reminds me of the Hypnotoad from Futurama and that always makes me laugh. Hee. All Hail the Hypnotoad!!

Art likes Stanley Kowalski from A Street Car Named Desire and Harry Potter. And also Dracula.

My darling Bug, aka Shmiggyshmoggy contributed these: Urnikh from "The Dragon on the Bookshelf"
The Mule from "Foundation Trilogy"
Ursula Buendia from "One Hundred Years of Solitude"

Ok...I like Remus Lupin from the Harry Potter books, Aloysius Pendergast from the Lincoln Child & Douglas Preston books, Iphegenia and Elektra Binewski from Geek Love, Lazlo Kriezler from the Alienist, Urnikt from the Dragon on the Bookshelf (aww- me and Bug both love the little bastard!) , and Edward from the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series. Ok, not all high literature but some very good books. I also like to reread Bram Stoker's Dracula. Cause it's fun.

People are welcome to contribute their own- I'll try to add some more here and there.

Brief PSA

make sure they take out ALL your wisdom teeth. If they leave even one little bugger in there cause it "looks fine and won't be a problem" that's code for "until you're off your parents' dental insurance and you have to call out of work and you look like there's a 1/2 lb of marshmallows in your right cheek and the pain in your jaw is like 1000 Burning Suns."
Just wanted you guys to know.

Now please comment on below post about your favorite book characters while I sit here rocking in pain. (like back and forth, not like rocking.)

updated at noon ish - also- thanks guys! Y'all are the sweetest! If it didn't hurt so much to smile, I'd totally be doing that.
So the update?
Not wisdom tooth. Apparently the reason they only took 3 out before is...I only had 3. Anyway- source of pain? Unknown. But at least I didn't have to have my jaw sawed open while awake because to get knocked out for the procedure is an extra $300 I don't have. It still hurts but Dr. Really Pretty Strangely Buff and Tan for an Oral Surgeon thinks "problem resolving". What is problem?
a.Infection of gland (salivary or parotid) now resolving
or
b. viral infection (again with the resolving)
or
c. just one of those strange things.
Oral surgeon guy thinks it's unlikely that it will abscess and go into my brain, killing me in a humiliating manner. At least brain abscess can be explained to funeral goers. Didn't someone get that from getting their tongue pierced? Anyway, also apparently not likely to cause endo or pericarditis both of which are infections in and around your heart, which I think after the brain is the #2 place You Don't Want Infection Hanging Out and Causing Problems.

Still have pain. And pain killers. Dentists seen in past 24 hours? 2. In last 5 years? 0. Both of the ones I saw were super nice, as is my original dentist, who totally rocks and who I'm going to go see soon, Dr. Peter Bence- he's been my only dentist since I had teeth. Anyway, am hopeful for quick "resolution" of 1000 Burning Suns located in lower right jaw. Thanks again you guys, you're the sweetest. (insert any other adjective/adverb crap I can't remember in there you want, OK?)

Just tried to order flowers online for Aughra. Let's all pray to our respective deities/demons of choice that they GET THERE TODAY as I paid for that service. Dammit. Also that she's resting comfortably on silken sheets with cherubs flying overhead, fanning her with big ass wings and feeding her grapes, while daytime tv plays for her. And the Vienna Boys Choir (or White Stripes or Funeral Arcade) sing for her. Aaaaaaahhhh

Reason #4 why I'm trying to figure out if I can coerce Visa to Take my First Born Child as Payment for Debt

Inspired by Aughra (who isn't ? )

from left-
Stila Creme Bouquet and Midnight Bloom, the golden apple with the little Frog Prince on it is Lolita Lempicka in solid form, as opposed to the regular liquid one which is on far right) which I got from Sephora, which is a bad, bad place. Directly to the right of the Stila Twins is my all time favorite, Boudoir by Vivienne Westwood which I bought in 1999 in London at Harvey Nichols, and have since received yearly as Xmas gift from my Older Brother Grimm. Love it.

Behind it is Cartier's Le Baisur du Dragon- kiss of the dragon- a really heavy scent that reminds me of my favorite psychiatrist ever, a brilliant man who spoke 5 languages fluently and played a mean game of ping pong and who returned to work in his late 60s after having major surgery for colon cancer and who sadly died in June. He was one in a million. He always smelled fantastic (he wore a lot of cologne because he was self-conscious about the colostomy bag he had to wear), and was quite simply the most charming man I've ever met. He told me that at times I looked like: "a young Italian peasant woman, a French writer, a 30's film star, or just a beautiful, vibrant young woman" and was never remotely cheesy about it. He liked my Cartier the best. If he'd been 40 years younger, Bug would've had a serious contender...After learning of his death, I bought the cologne for Bug. He smells great too- and he's heard enough great stories about Dr. C to wear it proudly. (as proudly as any guy ever wears cologne, I guess)

Also- Murmure (with an accent over the e but I don't know how to do that) by Van Cleef & Arpels, in the front is my newest- Iris Nobile by Acqua di Parmo, Maybe Baby- (Aughra insisted I try and I bought it online immediately, certain that her suggestion would be a good one- which of course it was) by Benefit, Chanel Coco Mademoiselle, Bvlgari White and Lolita Lempicka. Somewhere in the pic is Burberry Brit.

Deciding which one to wear is as simple as picking up the item of clothing least likely to smell like ick and least wrinkled and cat/dog/Foxglove hair covered, and smelling it to try and discern which fragrance I last wore with it. I wear too much and some people don't like it but I've never induced status asthmaticus in anyone, and the women who don't like it are just jealous that I smell so good. Hmph.

(Don't let me buy any more, please!)
IMPORTANT- READ HERE! please answer in the comments section, but don't read everyone else's answers! Cause then no one will comment when I post results and stuff...and no comments makes me cry.
And I've been wondering- who are your favorite fictional characters from the world of books? (Not TV or movies which I'll do another time- I want to do a post and I want to link to all my wonderful buddies with their favorites as well....)

Boots Anonymous Charter Member. Instead of Friends of Bill W it'll be Friends of Foxglove F. This is why I love fall & winter and summer sucks. Boots. Boots.

Also candles in background- Clove Pomander.

Mmmm. Candles Anonymous possibly also.

I was thinking how incredibly stupid I'd look if he didn't follow me but he did & the men were thrilled. 'we were worried you'd be a pusho pusho

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I think I earned their respect by fact of having originally been support staff myself and of making point to learn names ( am writing fromg from

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Foxglove The Charge Nurse. Patients Behave. Miracles Happen.

So I'm in charge, right? Of the psych floor this weekend that is. Only 'regular' staff nurse: the other 2 are per diem or agency nurses( i.e. no vested interest in anything occuring other than the 8 hours they're working- it'll be a different job with different patients the next day, so they kinda don't give a shit) while the other regular staff consists of our attendants, who rule and keep us from getting killed. Some of the nurses treat the attendant like crap. Those nurses are stupid. I make a point to make friends, also because I used to do almost the same job before I became a nurse.I think I earned their respect by fact of having originally been support staff myself and of making point to learn names. Being the youngest nurse on the floor- ok, one nurse is younger but she acts like she's 65 and has no style while I overdress and am fun and down-to-earth like with all the patients so they all think I'm sweet and nice and not a threat. But when I had to do my first "I"m charge, damnit, and if I tell you to do something, you damn well better do it NOW or I'm throwing your ass in the seclusion room so cut the crap NOW" thing, I was terrified it wouldn't work and the patients would never respect/fear/listen to a damned thing I had to say. We had this one patient who was just acting like an ass and wouldn't stop and so one of the attendants came out and asked me to come deal with it. This was the test, I knew.

So..I marched out to the little courtyard in my cute little outfit with my cute little earrings and spoke very loudly and very clearly- "You're going to stop doing that right this instant, or your walkman is going to disappear forever and you're going to spend the rest of the night in the seclusion room. You have a choice. Cut the crap right now, and follow me back onto the floor where you're going to go sit in your room and be quiet, or spend the next hour locked in seclusion." And I turned around and walked off, thinking, "oh god if he doesn't follow me I'm going to be the ultimate laughingstock." But he did.

And then the attendants told me I reminded them of one of the other nurses, who takes no shit, and who everyone fears, and how they were worried I'd be a pushover, and how they were psyched that I wasn't going to take any crap. Yay!




( am writing from phone- mobile post- so it gets cut up and makes me look illiterate, which is why I'm fixing it like 6 months later.)

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Work of the suck tonight folks. Bug visiting me for dinner is the good thing. Raving idiot per diem nurse that'll be murdered by me beforebefore

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tagged by Aughra

Number 9 for Bug. Also cause then I can ramble. (You may want to get a snack and go to the bathroom before reading this.) See if you can pick out the fun fictional swear words peppered throughout!

Most recent 9 DVDs I've watched. (Until someone buys me tivo...)
Flickering Lights (Blinkende Lygter)
King Arthur. Apparently I've linked to it too many times as the blog is actually refusing the 3 separate links I tried... My secret shame. I fucking love this movie. The Hot Medieval Men Calendar in Live Action! Pretty Ireland Scenery. Crap dialogue. But excellent skull crushing, decapitations, blood spurts, and huge battle scenes. Oh, and historically inaccurate trebuchets. And it's my dream team of mental health attendants. (scroll down)
"Touching Evil" - entire series- recently linked to.
Event Horizon (Have you decided you don't want to go the movies with me yet?)
Naked but the original plain old DVD version, though I did just preorder this baby right this instant. (sorry Bug- but it's the Criterion Collection with COMMENTARY!
and um...oh yeah- of course- Sin City , always and never, that's it, innit?
Angel “Smile Time” from season 5 set, cause my Shay Shay had never seen it. After it was over, she got to meet my Angel Puppet that I bought for myself after getting one for Aughra. He smells like Essenza di Zegna cologne, like Bug. But he lives in a cardboard box with a plastic front, unlike Bug.
Pusher


things I never thought I’d never do but have
Had plastic surgery. That’s right folks- my nose was “adjusted” when I was 21.

Gone back to college after already finishing (with the now more popular than when I did it “Five Year Plan”) to get another dren degree so I could get a job

Got married! That’s right, I was going to be the Crazy Cat Lady, only I was going to have dogs too. Planned on going to a shelter and saying “give me all the animals that like other animals”. I planned to hook up with guys on occasion though. Presumably away from Scary Crazy Cat/Dog Lady House. But then I met Bug and that all changed. Aww.

Survived (albeit barely) the Death of Milo. Didn’t think I’d do it cause I was sure he’d turn out to be immortal somehow, or actually live just as long as me. Just like Isaac will. Damnit.

Get another tattoo after spending a lot of $ to get two others lasered off. And yes, it really frelling hurt. Way more than the tattoos, cause w/tattooing, you don’t smell your own flesh burning.

Go to Nail Salon and Get Fancy Nails. Did it about 6 times- acrylics take forever, the nail people here are all Korean and all I know how to say is the greeting for when you answer the phone (don’t know what it means), “do you have a cigarette?” learned as necessity in high school, and “thank you”. So when I keep telling them I want them shorter so as to not put my own damn eye out or to possibly be able to wipe myself without committing self female circumcision, there’s a lot of smiling and nodding and me going home and cutting the damn things myself. Plus I cannot sit still that long and when you smudge the polish, they get PISSED. I usually just try to hide the smudge and run.

Start writing in any form again. Cause I did it when I was younger, and sometimes I thought I was good, and sometimes I thought I was rubbish, and I always felt like “who the hell am I to think anyone would want to read anything I had to write? Who’s that presumptuous?” Well, apparently I am.

Get sunburned again. I’m wicked careful- when I was a wee lass, people didn’t know/care/bother about sunscreen and UVF and whatever and I got toasted. It sucked. Only once or twice though, my mom was pretty good about not having me roasted alive. (Thanks Mom!) However, I went to London in ’99 and somehow got my face all red in 4 days of walking around. In London. Where it wasn’t sunny. People thought I'd been somewhere beachy.

Become a nurse. Growing up, my mom always suggested it as a career. I thought she was nuts. Nurses work really hard. They have a lot of responsibility. People’s Lives Are in Their Hands!! They have to deal with all kinds of gorram bodily fluids and people dying and the scariest of all- trying to decipher physician handwriting on a regular basis. On what planet could I possibly be ‘together enough’ or ‘responsible enough’ or ‘apparently masochistic’ enough to be a nurse. Apparently, it is Earth. Heh.

Colors of lipstick currently in heavy rotation:
Stila “Blake”
DuWop Venom Color or some combo of those words- “Belladonna”* – also bought Foxglove but it’s a nude and looked crap on me so I gave it to Aughra, whom it suits much better.
Dior Addict Ultra Gloss- 851*.
Body & Soul – “Siren” *
A Loreal thick lipliner that’s worn down to a teeny 1” chunk that actually scrapes my lips with wood when I apply and the color is long gone. *
M.A.C.- Frost in “So Original” – if you put it on heavy it looks really purple and therefore bad. If you apply lightly it’s kind of pretty. And it’s not really frosty. Though Blake up there kinda is.
M.A.C.- ProLongwear Lustre Lipcolour in “Alta Moda”* (FYI- long wearing means also long wearing on your teeth. So, to avoid that “Barfly” Faye Dunaway look (doesn’t that have your Boyfriend Spader in it, Aughra?) do the
Styli-Style FLAT – “Marbella”* (CVS, baby) I really like the big fat pencil ones. I like this color though I think it might be a wee bit whorish.
Benefit- “Psychic Love Match”*

*= all within the same exact color range by the tiniest difference. A deep red (blue based) w/ plum or burgundy. A color many consider to dark for my very fair skin. Those people can fuck off.

Names I’ve Liked Better than Mine
Mimi- meh.
Siobhan- Still love it.
Lily- ditto
Sadie- I like this better too. This was also the name I would give guys I wasn’t interested in talking to at bars in lieu of the real one. (Probably actually approached total of 7 times between ages 18-29. And counting)
Phaedra- I don’t even know if that’s how it’s spelled. Nick Cave & Lydia Lunch song. “Some Velvet Morning”
Anneke- I think I first saw it in a Pippi Longstocking story.
Scarlett- Before Johannsen. Think Gone With The Wind and being a redhead.

Reds I’ve used over time..starting in ’89 (hope I’m not disillusioning anyone here w/the news that the red ain’t real)
Pizazz- ancient mousse/gel semi-permanent color sold in CVS. Color was a coppery red. Mom not pleased.
manic panic. I had:
pillarbox (my favorite) red
flaming
vampire red
tiger lily
and of the more “able to get a job in corporate land” colors, I’ve had
Feria- the one with Milla on the cover. You know. Cardinal “rich auburn”
Also “copper shimmer” – I’d link to the website but it’s huge and flashy and nobody cares enough to sit throught that lightshow. What the hezmanah is that all for anyway?
Nice & Easy- Natural Light Auburn
When I splurge and get it done in salons, I tell them “Make it look like Ireland red hair.”

Naughty.

naughty 

But not like you're thinking....My camera phone is losing whatever camera skills it had. Go to Osbasso and learn the mysterious art of HNT.

Also go to Bad News Blonde to see the most gorgeous human being in the world.

Oh, and cause of the glare, you can't see the almost Olsen twin over accessorizing I've developed.