An important Public Service Announcement

Where have all the Slugs gone? Once upon a time, about 4 years ago, Bug and I would take walks with our beloved Shmee (and please click on his link and give him bones so that he can receive the glory and adoration he deserves) and we'd walk across the road and there on the long planks of rotty wood that held in the... shrubbery would be dozens and dozens of gorgeous slugs. But I haven't seen any in years now.

I used to make velvet stuffed slugs- I made about 4 with big eye stalks and smooshy bodies. They looked kind of like Slurms McKenzie, but without sunglasses. I also made sculpey slugs.

So. Someone out there must know- where are my slugs? Will they come back? Is there an actual Slug God I can pray to?

Please help.

Please note that many of the slug links are all anti slug. Slugicide sites, if you will. Disregard these evil things. These people are on my side. Save the slugs, people.

PS. I prettied up the blog and lost the damn wishlist, not that the gifts were exactly pouring in. Stupid html stuff.

Two weeks of work survived. Almost.

Missed one day, Tuesday, cause spent the night previous in ER of old hospital getting IV fluids for dehydration. Stomach flu compounded with utter inability to eat. Good news is I'm 11 lbs thinner. Bad news is it feels like there's a rabid weasel chewing in my gut.

On the unit- back with my psych patients. The other two new nurses are from the Bahamas and Jamaica, respectively, and while they have psych nursing experience, I have experience working at this particular place, so it's been pretty stress free except for the waking up at the ass crack of dawn part.

We've got the guy who talks in military terms "Echo Foxtrot!" and constantly refers to "telestars over Iran watching that guy", the kid who escaped from a hospital in New England (he's 20 and 6 4" and so far docile which is good cause he's a big boy), the guy who three years ago attacked his dad during visiting hours and almost blinded him, a woman who enjoys dropping to the ground and almost clawed her eyes out when informed that her Ativan had been changed from 2mg every 6 hours to 1mg every 8, and numerous other variously ill people. My least favorite would have to be the graduate of the children's unit who though he has a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, has most of his problems stemming from his Axis II personality disorder and totally inability to adhere to limits. He curses, swings and kicks at people, starts fights (and it's a matter of time before one of the other patients just kicks his ass, and god willing, I'll get to see it) and generally causes mayhem. He is able to control his behavior- he'd just rather not because it's more fun to have staff follow him around all day and all night and if our charge nurse had not decided that the paperwork was too much, his ass would have totally been in 4 point restraints. Little fucker. By the end of the day he was on constant observation and standing at the desk demanding I gave him more meds (he'd had all he's allowed to get for now) calling me a cunt. Again- little fucker.

If I had my dream team of attendants, , life would be good. Who would fuck around with Bors? If I told someone to please stay away from the nursing station because they wouldn't be happy if the other patients were looking at their information and they wouldn't listen, I could just call "Boooors..." and there would be instant cooperation. Or Dagonet? Life would be much simpler. My friend Jane would be deliriously happy with Lancelot on the unit, and as you're all probably aware, I wouldn't get much work done with Tristan there. But it would be so much fun to call a Dr. Strong (i.e. big men come running and help takedown aggressive/attacking patient who is trying to kill the nurses, attendants, or other patients) and have that gang come. Gawain, Galahad and Arthur are also welcome. Hell, we'd even take the Saxons.

Finished new Harry Potter.

Aw man. Totally not a "hugs and puppies" book. Imagining the fanfiction writers of the world scrambling to fix their now non canon stories and there is one character in particular that is gonna be seriously reimagined in the world of drooling fangirls.

Aw man.

Nostalgia. (sniff) And it's the 5 Years of Isaac today!

Songs downloaded this evening: Gorilla Biscuits- High Hopes, Start Today, (VIVID reminder of seriously intense crush I had on this guy from 1990 till..1995 when he started dating this totally disastrous skank. I called her a walking petri dish cause he told me they "weren't dating") New Direction. Social Distortion covering Psychedelic Furs "Pretty in Pink". Also the original. Pogues miscellaneous- anyone know why I can't download shit from Peace & Love ? There's plenty of other stuff. Stupid everything. Hmph.

Fishbone! Remember Fishbone? I saw them at this um, festivaly thing...Angelo Moore was walking around with his fancy walking stick, winking at all the girls.

Bunch of Stray Cats, Echo and the Bunnymen, 7 Seconds, Love & Rockets, the Smiths- who my husband never heard of until COLLEGE?!?!Aughra, I ask you- is Michigan really that much of a black fucking hole? I mean, the Smiths? How can you have even lived in the 80's and not heard of them?

Remind me what I'm missing. And- "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes: Should I or Shouldn't I?


Please note that it is a Friday evening and I am all alone because my husband is a big suck who goes out without me all the time. Or plays that game. Please enjoy my marital discord running commentary. Thank you.

I survived 5 Consecutive Days With No Damn Sleep

Why are we all such slaves to capitalism? or whatever it is that means I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn?

I wake up when my alarm clicks before the "soothing nature sounds" turn on. Hit snooze. 6 glorious minutes later I am dragging myself out of the bed. Before I go downstairs I witness Isaac look sleepily at me and then jump up on the bed and lie down in my spot. Even he thinks it's too damn early.

The cats need no rest when food is on the horizon and there are goals to be attained . I try to decide if I really need to shower or if I can just be French for the day until I realize that I really should just go hose off. Throw the stunning outfit I picked out the night before on (when I get dressed early in the dark I end up with color problems- i.e. the grey pants I thought looked so pretty with the red shirt are actually green pants when in seen real lighting) slap lipstick on and go to car. Apply eyeshadow with a precision a spaz like me should not be capable of in the natural light of the car or end up looking like two-bit hooker .

Light 3rd cigarette of day.

Play King Straggler CD really loud in car and sing along. It makes me feel better. When you click the link you must click the "music" part so you can actually hear the songs. Then bask in the brilliance for a few minutes and then get your asses over to CDBaby.com and buy the CD cause it's great. Also? Rodney Eastman of the band e-mailed me to thank me for buying the CD and wanted to know if I liked it or "if it's a coaster or mini Frisbee on your coffee table now".

Proceed to smoke as many cigarettes as I can during the what should be a twelve minute drive but now has to be an eight minute drive because I zoned out at some point and am running late. Arrive, park in East Fucking Jihbib, and then drag self towards glorious building of the place they keep my money.

The next 8 and a half hours are a hazy blur of boredom, ankle pain, fleeting hunger, and massive quantities Diet Pepsi.
3:30, clock out, chat with new smoking buddy I have attained to replace one who I worked with last time that got fired for spitting at, keying car of, and threatening to kill his ex-girlfriend on hospital grounds- and then was surprised to lose job- and then crawled to car, drove home, tried to download a bunch of songs from Pusher with no success, then passed out for two hours.

And then Bug went out again to hang out with his dork friends. So I get to spend another night sitting by myself watching movies and talking to the dog. This is what I do even if he is technically here, because if he is, he's playing that fucking World of Warcraft game and completely unaware of my existence. I could cut off one of my ears and he wouldn't notice.

Grrr. Oh, and Aughra tells me you guys are buying stuff from her wish list. So here's mine! Hee. If I looked like her, I'd be posting pics for HNT, but a. Bug still hasn't found camera charger and b. I'm shy

So frelling early

Back at work. (loud sobbing) Have to be awake at 6:30 to shower and ingest enough diet pepsi to suitably function for several hours before rebooting with more diet pepsi. They say diet pepsi makes it harder to lose weight. It also makes it harder for me to kill people while sitting through the exact same orientation for the 3rd time. That's right, it's the third time I've worked at the same hospital. in 2000 I was a secretary. 2002-2003 mental health specialist and now, 2005 RN.


So sleepy. If they shut the lights off to show us videos, I cannot be held responsible for sleeping.

A Brief Note by someone physically incapable of being Concise

For Blog Ho and all the others who wondered about the double phallus drawing from my 1896 book, but were somehow unable to comment... I recently purchased A Morning's Work: Medical Photographs from the Burns Archive & Collection 1843-1939, and amazingly, in brilliant color (ok black and white) on page 31 of the plates is a photograph c. 1867 of our friend w/the double phallus. Phalluses? Anyway. He's wearing a fez and resting one of his 3 legs on an Ottoman. I was very happy to see our friend again. There are so many amazing photos in this book, and I am trying to coerce my Bug (again, not you, LBB ) to scan the photos so I can post them here, and then probably get sued. Yippee!

And since I'm in such a linky mood, you should all go see BTE at his blog. You know how all those people get married and have the "in sickness and health, till death do us part" lines included in their vows? Well most of them, when the loved one gets sick, or becomes terminally ill, dump them in a hospital or nursing home. "It's too hard to watch".

Not BTE. His wife wants to die at home, and he and their son also want that for her, so they've taken the incredibly brave and compassionate step of doing home hospice care for her. He meant those vows, and he's stickin' to 'em. Don't think his blog is just doom and gloom though- he's a very funny man who tells great stories. He just happens to also be one of the few people to really "get" that "true love" thing, and in this miserable day and age, I think it's really beautiful. I just hope that if it ever comes to that for me or for my Bug, that we'd do the same for each other.

Next time:
See how I plan to decorate my imaginary house! See the Asian Influences Wing! The Hall of Antiquities! The Creepy Medical Things Room and More!